Who does he think he is?

Why do we talk about others behind their back, or even in their presence if they appear to be incapacitated or “not all there”?

Why do we spend much of our time trying to figure out the reasons why our friends and family think, feel, act and say things that we don’t understand.

What makes us so curious?

Why do we bother?

So often sensitive people are offended or angry when they think others are talking about them. The truth is that it is a wonderful gift to be talked about. If no one cares enough to try to figure you out, your beliefs, your thoughts, your motivation, your actions or your utterances, this may be  a sad and  lonely day.

Some people, even some you know well, may take what you say and do at face value, never explore your possible motivations, your possible emotions or beliefs. Maybe they are not recognising you at all as a person and simply react to you based on how you interacted with them. There may, as a result,  be little depth in the relationship between you.

Others tease out your every word and action trying to figure out why you meant when you said x or did y, denied a or voted for b. These people want to be able to respond to you, have a deeper understanding of you as a person and want to be able to move forward with you in understanding and caring. Sometimes, this can be to figure out how to manipulate you in the future, but mostly it is to deeper the relationship between you.

 

If historians didn’t spend their time trying to figure out why and what people did and said we would not learn as much wisdom from the past as we do. If pathologists didn’t figure out what caused the demise of people presented to them then we might not understand the human body with it’s wonders and weaknesses as we do. If planners and architects didn’t understand the materials used to construct our physical environment then we might not have the security we feel in our homes.

 

A degree of understanding of our family members and those we meet each day is necessary and if someone talks behind your back, no matter whether they are dissecting you, analysing you, disparaging or complimentary this can be viewed as a blessing… the alternative is that you are ignored, forgotten or discounted as a person.

 

If you are having a hard time figuring out yourself or others then it may help to spend a few minutes chatting with me. I usually offer insights and a different perspective that can be helpful. Book a free chat with me now by clicking this link. https://King.ie/free-call